Sorrow During the Holidays
The holidays can be difficult if you’ve lost someone in your life. I just want to give a few thoughts that I hope will console you and help you cope with sorrow during the holidays.
How to deal with sorrow during the holidays
If you don’t feel like being festive, that’s okay.
It’s okay to feel sad and to embrace those feelings. Take some time to give yourself what you need, whether it’s alone time with your deceased loved one in prayer, or looking at old photos and videos. It may be helpful to do the latter with other family members.
Dont keep it all in
Talking and sharing stories with family and friends are also helpful. This is why having a memorial after someone passes is so comforting to the family because they get to hear stories and thoughts about their loved one. Why not have an impromptu mini-memorial during the holidays? This can be a new tradition.
Do what feels right for you. Do you.
This brings me to my next point which is to start a new tradition. Perhaps buying a present for your loved one, putting it under the tree until two days before Christmas, and then giving it away to charity? This is what a bereaved mother did when she lost her son.
Use tokens
One of the things that helped my family after we lost our daughter to stillbirth was to get a little token that reminded us of her spirit. We got a little angel figurine and we put it on a small table where we have other little items like pictures, letters, flowers, candles, etc. Seeing this every day makes me feel like she is still with us.
You can also wear a special necklace pendant that allows you “to be with them” wherever you go.
Find comfort in God
And finally, one comforting thought is knowing we will someday be reunited with them and with our God, our Creator for all eternity. This belief is the one that comforted and helped me the most. Knowing that our loved one is in a better place, and they await us when it’s our time, that they are not lost in oblivion, guides us forward one day at a time.
I know none of these can and will take your pain away, or bring them back to us. But I’m praying for you to find comfort and peace this holiday season.
Learn here why you can not delay contacting Social Security after the death of your spouse.
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Sheilla Vidal is a Retirement Income Certified Professional RICP® and life insurance broker. Sheilla is also a physical therapist, wife, mother of two, and one of the caregivers for her 85-year-old father. She is an avid learner. She writes, speaks, and recognizes that her work in helping clients live with dignity is her God-given mission.
